You need me less than I need you

I do not care to talk about what it is or what it is not. I do not care to explain things to people I’ve talked to. I just do not care to go over this and continue to allow the influence of others shape my thoughts and feelings even more.
I feel as though I talk too much about things that are none of my business to really be talking about. I should listen more.

Anyways…

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I do this to myself, often it seems.
I let my mind wander and I take others on the journey as though it is a reality. But it is not.
It is my over analyzation, my reading into, my looking for something that is not there.
It is never there.
It is my own “reality”. But it does not exist. I can assure you. The daydreams I let my mind wander into are far from reality and will more than likely never come close to happening. In a perfect world…

But this is not a perfect world. This is a fallen world and we are all trying to redeem ourselves. We are looking for redemption everyday. We want our friends to redeem us. We want a boy or a girl to look at us in a different way, to think of us highly, to deem us worthy enough to be their best friend/boyfriend/girlfriend. We want to feel wanted. We want to have people think of us as something better than we probably are. We want to show off a life that is probably not what we are really living. We dress this way for their approval. We talk about these things to get that group’s attention.

And when all of that fails, when the hole we are trying to fill only gets deeper and wider… then we turn to or turn back to the One Who truly fills it. The One who can redeem us. The One that wants to redeem us. The One that has redeemed us.

How much more fulfilling to continually look to Him for our redemption. For love, for security, for peace, for value… Rather than looking at him or her to redeem us. Honestly, that is a lot of pressure to put on a human being in the first place. But we do it. I do it. We want their voice, their touch, their desire of us to be enough. It never is. It never will be.

Until He is enough, everything will fall short. Once we take notice that our redemption comes from Him and He is enough even when all else fails… then, we will be fulfilled… then we will be able to enjoy friendships, relationships, ourselves with no pressure.

If things do not work out, it is okay… He is enough. If this friendship does not last… He has already redeemed you. If another boy likes her and not you… He has always been enthralled by your beauty and has always loved you and will continue to.

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I have not quite gotten this into my mind. But I write to remind myself.
Here’s to life.
{-Rads}